


Let's Get Married!

by I_have_a_Mycroft_of_my_very_own



Series: Forever [4]
Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Barduilweek, Oh my gosh, i kind of cheated with this one, imma reorder the stories when barduilweek ends, the muses did not want to cooperate, theme 2: Cultural differences
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-30
Updated: 2015-06-30
Packaged: 2018-04-06 23:44:14
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 617
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4241166
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/I_have_a_Mycroft_of_my_very_own/pseuds/I_have_a_Mycroft_of_my_very_own
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Bard.” Thranduil sighs, shaking his head. “I told you when we first agreed we cared about each other. My wife, I-“ Thranduil bites his lip and shakes his head, looking away. “Bard.”</p><p>“No, you said we can’t have sex. You didn’t say anything about marriage.”</p><p>“They’re the same thing.”</p><p>“… no? They aren’t?” Bard replies, hesitantly.</p><p>“Yes, they are.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	Let's Get Married!

**Author's Note:**

> Written for Theme 2 of Barduilweek, Cultural Differences. http://barduilweek.tumblr.com/themes
> 
> From the idea that elves marry by having sex... they view the act of sex as being the closest bond they can form with another person. For this reason, Bard and Thranduil marrying in human fashion without consummating their marriage would leave Thranduil's marriage to his wife still intact and officially untarnished. :) Plus, Thranduil's marriage to Bard officially ends with Bard's death, as is agreed in the vows. 
> 
> Since Thran and Bard are kings of their own kingdoms, I like the idea of them needing a king from another realm to marry them. And who better than Dain? (TBH, Dain has had a betting pool going for months now about how long it would take the two muttonheads to realize they have loopholes they can jump through. He's gon win.)

“Hey, Thran,” Bard mumbles, voice heavy from sleep, as he snuggles into Thranduil’s side. “Thran.”

“Mm?” Thranduil whispers, Bard looks up to find Thranduil blinking tiredly at him.

“You want to get married?” Bard asks, nuzzling his cheek against Thranduil’s stomach. He feels Thranduil tense beneath him and he frowns, pulling back, more awake than he was before. “Thran?”

“I can’t, Bard. You know I can’t.” Thranduil answers, voice quiet, barely audible.

“Why not?” Bard asks, frowning.

“Bard.” Thranduil sighs, shaking his head. “I told you when we first agreed we cared about each other. My wife, I-“ Thranduil bites his lip and shakes his head, looking away. “Bard.”

“No, you said we can’t have _sex_. You didn’t say anything about marriage.”

“They’re the same thing.”

“… no? They aren’t?” Bard replies, hesitantly.

“Yes, they are.”

“Alright, maybe they’re the same thing for elves? But they’re not for humans.” Bard answers with a sigh. “For us, marriage is just, two people agreeing they want to spend the rest of their lives together, and that they’ll share everything equally between them. And that neither is above the other. And… they provide legal protections and benefits. And it means I can call you my husband. There doesn’t have to be sex involved. It just means we’ll have an unconsummated marriage.” Thranduil hesitates, before grabbing Bard’s hands and squeezing them.

“We can… be married?” he asks, voice small and hopeful. Bard smiles fondly and nods his head.

“Yes.”

“What do I have to do?”

“Well, you say yes for one.” Bard says, with a little smile. “And then we have an engagement party. I present you with lavish gifts. Other people present us with lavish gifts. In a few months to a year, we have a party the night before our wedding, and then we have a wedding in front of our subjects and friends. We get showered with more lavish gifts. And someone, probably Dain, tells us we can now kiss, and we’re done... oh, and we get to have like, I guess, three days to a week of uninterrupted bonding time, before our people knock on our doors and tell us to get back to work. ”

“And that’s it?” Thranduil asks, surprised.

“Well, there’s some paper work involved. But it’s nothing we haven’t dealt with before, right?” Bard jokes, looking over to the pile of paper on his desk he has yet to get to. “Look, you don’t have to do anything you don’t want to. It was just an idea. I’m not going to ask you to do anything that betrays your wife.”

“I know. Let’s get married then.”

“Really?”

“I like having parties, and I like being showered with lavish gifts. And I’d really like to be able to call you my husband. So, yes! Also, how annoyed you think Dain will be when we tell him he has to marry us?” Thranduil says, leaning forward to kiss Bard’s cheek. Bard snorts and rolls his eyes.

“How annoyed do you think he’ll be when we tell him our stag dos are going to happen at his house?”

“A stag do?” Thranduil asks, ever interested in all things stag. Bard laughs and shakes his head, kissing Thranduil on the nose.

“Yes, a stag do. It means we go out and get utterly, totally, and completely wasted the night before our wedding.”

“… Tell me more.” Thranduil says, a grin on his face. “I find I’m quite intrigued by human wedding customs.”

“You and me both, Thran, you and me both.” Bard replies, snuggling against Thranduil, and, with a happy sigh, beginning to tell his fiancé all about human marriage traditions, and the many possibilities they have to pick from.


End file.
